By Janice Horner, Nia Blue Belt Instructor

As a Nia teacher and student, I’d like to share an experience I had in class recently that speaks to the power of this practice. A little background information to set up the story:

I left my full-time job last December to embark on an early semi-retirement. Part of my preparation for this venture was thinking about what I wanted to do with my time when I was no longer working 40 hours a week. After taking a hiatus from teaching Nia during the pandemic, I knew I wanted to return to teaching as it is a great “fun” job to have. The other big item on my retirement list though was engaging in long delayed creative pursuits, particularly writing as well as creating or pairing Nia choreography with songs from some of my favorite artists.

The first six months of my semi-retirement were focused on seeing my daughter through high school graduation and helping her prepare for college. As we got closer to the end of summer, I started teaching Nia again. I also signed up for some volunteer activities through my church and the Cary Senior Center. I noticed that I was filling my plate with lots of activities, yet I wasn’t devoting any time to the creative pursuits that I had listed as my priority focus for retirement. I think part of this was to fill the empty nest with my only child going off to college, but I also suspected something else was at play.

For years, I have been plagued with fear and self-doubt when it comes to engaging in any type of creative efforts, whether it be writing, drawing, crafts, etc. There was always this little voice in the back of my head saying I wasn’t good enough, that nobody would want to read what I wrote or buy what I created. These fears and doubts often prevented me from even starting on a project as I would convince myself it wasn’t worth it – that the end product would never be as “perfect” as it was in my head so why bother even trying. I realized that by filling my time with other commitments, I had a “legitimate” excuse to not engage my creative side – lack of time, just like when I was working full-time.

This issue recently came to a head as I was debating whether to take on a part-time coach/educator opportunity I learned about through a good friend. In my heart, I knew it was something I was not feeling very passionate about, yet I found myself having a hard time saying no. I was still struggling with finding purpose and focus in my retirement activities and I realized it was tied to my fears and doubts about my creative abilities. Earlier this week, I went to a Nia class that my teacher had just started at a new location. The focus and intent were on embracing the fall season and like the trees that shed their leaves, letting go of anything physical, mental or emotional that was stopping us from moving forward. For me, it was clear that I needed to let go of my fears and self-doubt.

In the middle of class, I found myself thinking silently "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?" This happened more than once and I felt this sense of clarity about saying no to these opportunities that just don't mesh with my heart’s desire – and finally saying yes to engaging in my creative pursuits. I know I am so fortunate to be in a position to choose what work I do and how I use my time and I just don't want to squander it.

I’m so grateful I stepped into that Nia class this week and received the gift of clarity and focus as well as the determination to let go of the fears and doubts that have been holding me back for too long.